


my heart beats (when I see you)

by merryofsoul



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Members as Characters, Flashback to when donghun came out to his parents, M/M, jun suffers so much, side jun/sehyoon/byeongkwan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:23:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21994243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merryofsoul/pseuds/merryofsoul
Summary: Donghun needs a fake boyfriend for Chuseok, and Yuchan denies him.Until he doesn't.
Relationships: Kang Yuchan | Chan/Lee Donghun
Comments: 22
Kudos: 102





	my heart beats (when I see you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tullycat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tullycat/gifts).

> Merry Belated Christmas!!! This was SO HARD to write without talking to you about every scene, but somehow I made it. Here is your very own dongchan fic, with fake dating and bed sharing and everything. I hope you like it! And I hope the next year is good to you, because you deserve it ❤ This also marks my 100th fic on here, and I am so happy to be able to gift that that to this particular person who has helped me grow so much as a writer. Also, as life would have it, it is now Yuchan Day in Korea! Happy Birthday to Chan!!!
> 
> Thank you to karlarado for the beta! Title from 'If You Heard'.

“These are the end times.”

Junhee, because he's heartless, ignores Donghun completely. Even when Donghun whines and scoots further down the couch to poke his feet into Junhee’s ribs, all he does is smack Donghun’s ankles and go back to texting.

“Chan!” Donghun bellows. There's a clatter from the kitchen, and then a half-hearted, “Yes, hyung?”

“Come comfort me,” Donghun demands. Yuchan sighs heavily and shuffles into the room, dragging his feet dramatically.

“What is it this time?” Yuchan asks, crawling on top of Donghun and immediately becoming dead weight.

“I need a date for Chuseok,” Donghun explains. 

“Oh, I'm outtie,” Yuchan says, scrambling up before Donghun can properly latch on. “This is a No-Chan zone.”

He's gone before Donghun can catch him, slamming the door to his room behind him. Donghun stares at the ceiling in betrayal and astonishment before pouting at Junhee again. 

“Junnie, please help me?”

“How?” 

“Let me borrow one of your boyfriends.”

Junhee laughs. “Absolutely not.” He stands and pats Donghun patronizingly on the ankle. “You're on your own for this one, buddy.”

“I hate you,” Donghun says. 

Junhee laughs on his way out of the room. 

*

Donghun tries again the next day.

“Chan,” Donghun says. Pleads. _“Chan.”_

Yuchan ignores him in favor of his game, tongue poking out in concentration. 

_“Chan-ahhhhh,”_ Donghun whines, and it's distracting enough to make Yuchan’s character miss a jump and fall to their death. Yuchan sighs and sets the controller down. 

“Hyung,” Yuchan says. “I'm not helping you.”

“But why not?”

“Because you shouldn't lie to your mom,” Yuchan says simply. “Not like this.”

“It's harmless,” Donghun tries. “It's just to make her happy for the holiday, and then it's done. She just won't leave me _alone.”_

“Did you try telling her you're happy being single?” Yuchan asks. Donghun scowls, because he _had_ tried that, but his mom didn't believe him. It doesn't help that Donghun didn't believe himself either. He's just picky, that's all, and who cares if he's taking his time finding a boyfriend? 

Junhee arrives at that moment, bags crinkling as he kicks off his shoes noisily. He stops when he sees Donghun sprawled across the couch. 

“Don't you have your own apartment?” 

“Channie invited me,” Donghun retorts. And his apartment is cold and lonely, but he doesn't want to seem desperate for company, so he jokes instead. Junhee sees right through him as always, and shakes his head as he heads to the kitchen. 

“No I didn't,” Yuchan replies, picking up his controller again. 

Donghun goes back to his begging. “Please, Chan-ah. She's still mad about the eyebrow piercing thing. And I already told her I was bringing someone. I can't make her mad again.”

Yuchan laughs, and Donghun scowls at him. Sure it was funny for Yuchan, who had walked in on Junhee and Donghun in the bathroom while Junhee unsuccessfully tried to unscrew the ball of the eyebrow piercing while Donghun tried not to cry. Yuchan had laughed and shooed Junhee out of the bathroom so he wouldn't pass out, and continued laughing while removing the piercing, disinfecting the area, and placing the band-aid. But it wasn't funny for Donghun when he got the string of angry and heartbroken texts from his mom, despairing at how he'd ruined his perfectly fine face. 

“I still want to know which friend of hers betrayed me,” Donghun says darkly. “I didn't even know she had friends this far into the city.”

“You act like you weren't going to take it out anyway before she saw,” Yuchan says with a smirk. Donghun scowls and flips him off. 

“Don't cook, hyung,” Yuchan calls into the kitchen. “It's my turn.”

“See?” Donghun whines as Yuchan gets to his feet. “You'd be such a good boyfriend to bring home.”

Yuchan stumbles a little on the tangle of cords in front of the TV, and throws Donghun a sideways glance as if he expects Donghun to tease him. It's too easy, though, so Donghun lets it go. 

“What’re you making?” Donghun asks instead, rolling to his feet. “Can I help?”

Yuchan eyes him suspiciously before nodding. Donghun follows him into the kitchen happily, in a good mood despite Yuchan’s rejection. 

*

It’s just a few weeks before Donghun is supposed to go home for Chuseok, and he’s no closer to a solution. 

“Any luck yet?” Sehyoon asks as they put in their lunch orders and claim a seat. 

“No,” Donghun replies, collapsing into a chair dramatically. “And Junnie won't let me borrow one of you guys.”

“That was never going to work,” Sehyoon says. “Your mom has met us.”

“Ugh,” Donghun says instead of agreeing. He hadn't really thought that part through. His parents don't really know Yuchan at all, since he only came into their lives more recently as Junhee’s new roommate, so that's why it could've been perfect. But with Yuchan saying no, and no support from the rest of his friends, Donghun might just have to turn to the internet for help. 

“I guess I'll have to pay someone,” Donghun groans. Sehyoon grimaces sympathetically and pushes some crackers Donghun’s way. It cheers him up enough that he’s almost forgotten about his predicament until Byeongkwan, Junhee, and Yuchan arrive to join them. 

After the rush of greetings and ordering food, Sehyoon settles on one side of the table with his boyfriends and Donghun pulls out a chair for Yuchan. It takes Yuchan longer to get back to the table, because instead of taking his number and sitting down, he grabs Sehyoon and Donghun’s orders that have just appeared on the counter.

“Ah, see?” Donghun asks as Yuchan places their food down on the table. “This is what makes you such a good boyfriend, Chan-ah.”

Yuchan glares at him.

“I’m just kidding,” he says. “I’ve decided to outsource.”

“Who did you get to agree to your stupid plan?” Yuchan asks. 

“No one yet,” Donghun says. “I’m going to proposition some people on Tinder.”

Yuchan gapes at him, not even realizing when his own order is called. Donghun has to nudge him out of his seat to the counter, and Donghun can tell he’s thinking hard when he sits down again. 

“Are you really going to do that?” Yuchan asks. 

“Why not?” Donghun says. He eyes Yuchan’s tray. “What are you waiting for?”

Yuchan stares hard at his food, _still_ not eating, and Donghun starts to worry. 

“Are you feeling okay?” Donghun asks.

“Yeah, what’s up with you?” Byeongkwan asks. “You were complaining the entire way here about how hungry you were.”

“Loudly,” Junhee says, though his smile is fond. 

“I’ll do it,” Yuchan says. 

“You’ll...eat?” Sehyoon asks slowly. 

Yuchan lets out a long, aggravated breath. 

“I’ll be your stupid fake-boyfriend for Chuseok, hyung,” Yuchan grumbles. 

Donghun almost chokes on his food.

“You will?”

“You _will?”_ Junhee shrieks. “Chan-ah, you—”

“No more discussion about it!” Yuchan yells. “Let’s just eat!”

“Thank you,” Donghun coos after he swallows, leaning close and poking Yuchan’s side. Yuchan squirms away and shoots him another death glare, but Donghun can see the smile breaking out. 

“Stop, it’s so dumb,” Yuchan says. “I can’t believe I’m agreeing to it.”

When they’re leaving, Donghun catches Yuchan by the wrist and drags him to the side. 

“I was just messing with you, you know,” Donghun says. “I can handle my mom on my own, it doesn’t matter. Don’t do it if you’re going to be miserable.”

“Your mom is cooking, right?”

Donghun nods. 

“Then I’m coming.”

“What about your mom’s cooking?” Donghun asks. “You’re gonna break her heart like that?”

“I wasn’t going home, hyung,” Yuchan says with a shrug. “Too expensive.”

“You never said,” Donghun says sadly. “Wah, Chan-ah.”

“It’s fine,” Yuchan says, resisting Donghun’s embrace. “Ah! I said it’s fine!” 

Junhee, Sehyoon, and Byeongkwan walk away while Yuchan’s shrieks get louder, leaving the two of them running to catch up. 

*

The next step is revealing the identity of his fake boyfriend to his mom. 

“Yuchan?” His mom repeats when they're on the phone a few days before the holiday. “That name is familiar.”

“He's a friend,” Donghun says. Sehyoon is giving him a judgemental look from across the table. Donghun sticks his tongue out. “Well — more than friend now.”

His mom hums thoughtfully. “The one who lives with Junhee?”

Donghun blinks. “Yes, that’s him. How did you know that?”

“You told me,” his mom says. Donghun tried to remember talking to his mom about that, but can't remember. “Can you send me a picture to send to your aunt? She wants to see you and your new boyfriend. Everyone is so excited about this.”

Donghun rolls his eyes but all he says to his mom is, “I’ll send one.”

They talk a little more about what his mom is cooking and what time they'll show up before his mom rushes him off the phone so she can finish her errands. 

“Rushing me off the phone,” Donghun mutters after they hang up. “She called me!”

“What are you sending her?” Sehyoon asks. 

“A picture of me and Channie,” Donghun says, hoping he doesn't have to go too deep into his camera roll to find one. 

“I have some too if you need them,” Sehyoon offers. 

“Yeah send them,” Donghun says. The more pictures the better. 

But finding a picture isn't an issue, because he barely has to scroll before he finds some. Donghun is tucked under Yuchan’s chin as he makes a kissy face at the camera, and it's probably not the formal picture his mom wants, but it makes Donghun smile, so he sends it. 

Sehyoon sends him a few pictures at the same time. Donghun hadn't even realize Sehyoon had taken them, and they're all from different days. 

“Oh perfect,” Donghun says as he forwards them to his mom. “Some of these make us look like a real couple.”

“Donghun-ah,” Sehyoon says. “Are you sure you want to go ahead with this?”

“Hmm?” Donghun looks up to see Sehyoon looking serious. “Why not?”

“Well Channie has already pointed out the fact of lying to your mom,” Sehyoon says. “But like…aren't you worried it might make things weird between you two?”

“Why would it?” Donghun asks. “It's just pretend, and we both know it.”

Sehyoon sighs and stares at him. 

“Alright,” he finally says. “But don't say I didn't warn you.”

“Nothing to worry about, Sehyoon-ah,” Donghun says. “But thank you for worrying.” 

“Whatever,” Sehyoon grumbles. “Are you going to eat your egg?”

Donghun protects his bowl with his chopsticks. “Of course I am.”

*

Yuchan is surprisingly quiet on the train ride out to Donghun's old house. He normally talks an upsetting amount on trips like this, but Donghun hasn't heard much from him today. 

“What's with you?” Donghun asks, elbowing Yuchan, who is slumped in the seat next to him. Yuchan jerks upright. 

“Just tired,” Yuchan says. “Get your pointy elbows away from me.”

“If you don't want to come anymore, I won't be mad,” Donghun says, even though just the thought of trying to explain to his mom why Yuchan isn’t there causes dread to wash over him. “I'll just hold it against you forever,” Donghun finishes, trying to joke. It works. Yuchan rolls his eyes at Donghun. 

“That's not it,” Yuchan says. “Just tired.”

He talks a little more on the rest of the ride, but when they pull into their stop and stand waiting for the doors to open, he gets quiet again. 

“Chan-ah,” Donghun says, taking in the hands Yuchan has clenched around the straps of his backpack and the way he's staring into the distance. “Yah. Look at me?”

Yuchan doesn't respond until Donghun reaches out and cups his cheek. 

“Seriously,” Donghun says. “What is it?”

“I'm just nervous,” Yuchan blurts, and then blushes. 

“What?” Donghun half laughs. “But why?”

“Because I want your parents to like me?” Yuchan says, his tone implying that Donghun is stupid for not realizing why. “Why else?”

“It doesn't matter, Chan-ah,” Donghun says. “It's not real.”

Yuchan frowns. “I know that,” he says eventually. “But I don't want them to think I'm a jerk. You deserve the best and if you're going through all of this to make them think you're happy, then I have to do it right.” That shocks Donghun into silence, but Yuchan doesn’t seem to register his lack of response. He blows out a harsh breath and grumbles under his breath.

“Well,” Donghun says once he manages to find his voice. “There they are, so we better get started.”

Yuchan looks out the window, real fear in his eyes, and he doesn't resist when Donghun slips his hand into Yuchan’s. 

“My mom’s the one in the red hat,” Donghun says as the train doors hiss open and they disembark. 

“I know,” Yuchan says. “She has your smile.”

Donghun flashes said smile at that, and pulls Yuchan over to where his mom is waiting. 

“Mom,” Donghun says, releasing Yuchan’s hand to throw his arms around his mom. “Hi.”

“You're so thin!” His mom squats into his shoulder. “Why are you like this?”

Donghun is the same as he's been every time he's seen his mom lately, but he lets her poke and prod at him all the same. When she's finished, her eyes land on Yuchan behind him. Donghun looks back too and is reaching out for him when Yuchan drops into a full ninety-degree bow.

“What the—” Donghun mumbles.

“It's an honor to meet you, Mrs. Lee,” Yuchan says.

Donghun's mom studies Yuchan for a long time, long enough for Donghun to elbow her lightly and mouth ‘Mom!’ at her. Finally, his mom laughs and says, “Nice to meet you too, Yuchan-ah.”

Yuchan finally straightens, looking happy when he sees the way Donghun’s mom is smiling at him. 

“Where's dad?” Donghun asks, and Yuchan stiffens again. Donghun reaches out to squeeze Yuchan’s shoulder, trying to ease away some of the stress. His mom’s gaze follows his hand, but Donghun doesn't drop it. 

“Pulling the car around,” his mom says. “I have dinner waiting at home, if you're hungry.”

Her tone dares them to say anything except that they're starving. 

“I'm starving,” Yuchan replies, and Donghun almost pinches him for being such a momma’s boy, but then Yuchan’s stomach really does let out a loud growl. He covers it self-consciously as both Donghun and his mom stare at him in shock. Then, Donghun’s mom turns and slaps Donghun lightly on the arm. 

“What's the matter with you!” she cries. “Letting him get hungry like that? What kind of manners have I taught you?”

“Mom!” Donghun yelps. “He's a grown-ass man! He can eat if he's hungry!”

His mom glares at him for the curse, and says, “Oh really?”

Donghun wilts under her glare. “You're right. I'm a horrible boyfriend.”

“You're not,” Yuchan interjects immediately. “I know you would've bought me food if I'd asked, I was just…” he grimaces. Nervous, Donghun remembers. His stomach probably hurt too much to eat this morning. “I just didn't want anything.”

“Well, we’ll get you settled back at the house,” Donghun’s mom promises. “Let's go, your dad has probably circled three times already.”

Knowing how impatient his dad gets, Donghun wants to hurry to the front of the station immediately, but he pauses when Yuchan does. Then, to his surprise and his mom’s, Yuchan offers his elbow to Donghun's mom. It's such an endearing and old-fashioned move, but Donghun can see the way his mom’s face lights up at the treatment. 

“So polite,” Donghun’s mom praises. 

Donghun is left to follow as Yuchan and his mom head for the parking lot, wondering what the hell he just witnessed. 

*

“Alright,” Donghun says, cornering Yuchan in the kitchen. “Spill.”

“Spill?” Yuchan looks at the counter under then glasses of water he was pouring. “I didn't spill anything.”

“No, _spill,”_ Donghun repeats. “How are you charming my parents so easily?” Yuchan had won his mom over so quickly on the train platform, and then immediately started talking sports with Donghun's dad in the car. Donghun didn't know that Yuchan even _knew_ any sports. 

Yuchan blinks. 

“Just lucky, I guess?” 

“You didn't ask Junnie what they were like?”

Yuchan rolls his eyes, but Donghun sees the way his cheeks immediately flush a light pink. 

“Aha!” Donghun crows. “Chan-ah, you're really cute, you know that?” 

Yuchan elbows him away. “Shut up, shut _up.”_

Donghun is still giggling about it when his mom steps into the kitchen again. She gives him a look about his proximity to Yuchan, and yes they are dating in her eyes, but this is also her house. Donghun scoots a few more inches away from Yuchan and smiles at his mom. Yuchan hands him a glass of water and Donghun thanks him. 

“Can I help with anything, Mrs. Lee?” 

“Do you want to help me with the dough?” Donghun's mom asks, and Donghun chokes on his water. His mom never just lets _anybody_ touch her precious rice cake dough. Donghun looks at Yuchan more closely, wondering what mom-taming powers he holds. 

“Yes,” Yuchan replies eagerly. 

“Dongdong, get him an apron please?”

Donghun turns to look in the drawer and catches Yuchan mouthing ‘Dongdong’ to himself. Donghun hurriedly picks an apron and shoves it at him, hoping to distract Yuchan from the old nickname. 

“Thanks,” Yuchan says brightly, looping it over his head. Donghun closes his eyes in despair when he sees the phrase on the front. 

‘Kiss the cook!’ is stitched on it and Yuchan snorts in amusement when he glances down. He looks like he's about to make a snarky remark, but seems to remember at the last second that they're not alone. 

“You,” Donghun’s mom says to him. “Out.”

“But mom!” Donghun protests, seeing the panicked look Yuchan throws at him. “I can help!”

“Your cakes always open,” his mom replies without mercy. “You're not helping.”

“She's harsh, this one,” Donghun says as his mom herds him out the door. “Your folding skills better be up to her standard, Chan-ah!”

Yuchan looks so lost standing there in the kitchen, and Donghun wants to find some reason to stay, but his mom keeps pushing him out. Eventually he ends up in the living room with his dad. 

“He's fine,” Donghun's dad says after Donghun cranes his neck for the third time to try and see through the kitchen doorway. “If he can't handle a conversation alone with your mother, he won't make it.”

Donghun knows his dad is right, and he stops looking for movement, but he can't help but keep one ear trained to the kitchen. 

“Donghun’s brother couldn't make it,” Donghun’s mom says sadly as she walks out of the kitchen a little while later. “He's stuck on a work trip.” 

“Donghun-hyung’s talked a lot about him,” Yuchan replies, already reaching for the fancy plates Donghun’s mom is handing him. 

“He doesn't get to meet you yet,” Donghun says as he stands to join. “He'll scare you away.”

“What about you, Yuchan-ah?” Donghun’s mom asks. “I was surprised to hear you weren't going home for the holiday.”

“Mom,” Donghun chides gently as Yuchan’s face falls. 

“I couldn't make it home this time,” Yuchan says sadly. “But my parents and brothers are all there on Jeju.” He falls quiet as he spreads the plates around and then clears his throat, pulling his apron back over his head. “Where did you say the bathroom was, hyung?”

“That one right off the kitchen,” Donghun says. He watches Yuchan shuffle away and sighs quietly. 

“I didn't mean to upset him,” Donghun’s mom says quietly. 

“I know,” Donghun replies just as quietly. “It's not your fault. It just sucks.”

Donghun’s mom clucks her tongue at him even though that wasn't really a curse, and then frowns, thinking. Finally, she waves Donghun toward the kitchen. “Go see if he wants some songpyeon.”

Donghun fakes a gasp. “Dessert before dinner?”

“Don't tell your father,” she replies. 

“Don’t tell me what?” his dad demands. Donghun is already escaping toward the kitchen. 

He’s poking pans on the stove and has the treat all ready when Yuchan comes out of the bathroom. If Donghun looks closely, he can almost see a red tinge around Yuchan’s eyes, and it makes him itch to fix it. 

“For you,” Donghun says, gesturing to the plate. Yuchan’s eyes light up. He takes a big bite out of one and sighs happily. 

“These are amazing,” he says through a mouthful. 

“My mom said you could have as many as you want as long as you still eat dinner.”

“Of course I will,” Yuchan replies. It's quiet as Yuchan continues to eat and make happy noises, and then Donghun almost leaps out of his skin when Yuchan wraps him in a backhug. 

“Ugh, why,” Donghun asks, even as he relaxes into it. 

“You're sweet, hyung.”

“I didn't do anything,” Donghun grumbles. “It was my mom.”

“That's where you learned it from,” Yuchan replies. His breath is too close to Donghun’s ear and it causes a shiver to run down his back. 

“Cold?” Yuchan asks, wrapping his arms tighter around Donghun. “Did you want your sweater?”

“See? This is what I meant when I said you're boyfriend material,” Donghun says. “So considerate.”

“Oh,” Yuchan says. “I was just going to ask you to grab mine when you got yours.”

“You—!” Donghun whips around, ready to smack Yuchan with a spatula, when his mom hurries back into the kitchen. 

“No fighting in my kitchen!” She shoves a serving bowl at Donghun. “Here. Time to help.” 

Dinner starts out pretty peacefully. They thank Donghun’s mom for cooking and serve the food and start to catch each other up on different things. Yuchan is the target of a lot of the questions since he's a guest, but Donghun does his best to steer the questions away from him.

Yuchan is pretty quick to answer any of the questions about how they met, and Donghun is happy to let him take the lead on that topic. It's only when Donghun’s dad almost puts his foot in his mouth that things don't go so well. 

“You know,” his dad says. “I'm surprised it's working out so well between you two.” 

Donghun frowns as he wonders where this conversation is going. His dad has said plenty of cringeworthy things in the past, and he hopes this isn’t one of those moments. Yuchan pauses with a bite of food halfway to his mouth, and then lowers his chopsticks back down to his plate. 

“Oh?”

Donghun’s parents have just met Yuchan, so they can't read his tone as well Donghun can. For someone who is so chill and happy all of the time, the moments where Yuchan actually gets angry are few and far between, but Donghun has seen it occasionally. 

Just with one word, Donghun can tell Yuchan is on edge. 

“Yeah, you two are…” Donghun's dad trails off and gestures between the two of them. “Well, son, you're you, and Yuchan-ah seems pretty calm,” his dad continues. “I thought you went for the more excitable types, like that—”

“Don't,” Donghun says, his face flushing immediately. “We don't speak of him here.” 

Donghun’s dad snaps his mouth shut immediately. “Sorry. I'm just. Ah.” He clears his throat aggressively. “I'm just happy for you.”

Donghun doesn't know what to say for a moment, but then squeaks out, “Thanks.”

He reaches out under the table for Yuchan’s hand, needing a little bit of normalcy in this moment, and is surprised to find Yuchan’s hand clenched into a fist in his lap. Donghun shoots him a questioning look, but Yuchan just shakes his head slightly, and then finally unclenches his fingers so he can take Donghun’s hand. 

“Well, Channie is anything but calm,” Donghun teases gently, still wary of the tense set to Yuchan’s shoulders. “He's just on his best behavior.”

Yuchan makes a disgruntled noise that has Donghun giggling, and then finally relaxes, and dinner continues as if nothing happened. Donghun takes his hand back to keep eating, though all he wants to do is keep holding Yuchan’s hand or put his arm around him. 

He shakes off that feeling and goes back to his meal. 

*

After dessert, clean up, and a round of Go-Stop where Yuchan beats Donghun mercilessly in front of his parents, they settle on the couch.

Donghun slumps down first, happy and full but also dreading the train ride back, and he startles when someone sits down next to him, bouncing the cushions a little. 

“Relax,” Yuchan says quietly as he gets comfortable, keeping his voice low for Donghun’s parents still in the kitchen. “We have to make it look realistic, right?”

“Ugh,” Donghun says as Yuchan squirms closer and makes himself comfortable. “Fine, but stop moving so much, I'm gonna puke.”

Yuchan laughs unsympathetically and finally settles. He's tucked close to Donghun, head practically on his shoulder, and it's the easiest thing in the world for Donghun to wrap his arm around Yuchan’s shoulders and tug him in a little more. Yuchan rests his head on Donghun's shoulder with a content sigh. 

Donghun is about to ask Yuchan what time they should get ready to go, but doesn't want to ruin the quiet of the moment. 

“Oh perfect,” his mom says, ruining it for him. “Now I can take a picture.”

“What's wrong with the ones I sent you?” Donghun demands. 

“Those weren't very formal, were they?” His mom says. She gestures for them to sit up straighter. She moves in to fix Yuchan’s collar for him, and Yuchan looks so happy as she steps back. 

“You sent her pictures?” Yuchan asks quietly as they shift around to Donghun’s mom’s liking. 

“She asked me,” Donghun says. 

“Can you send them to me later?”

Donghun blinks, and glances at the side of Yuchan’s face. He's looking at his hands and not at Donghun at all. 

“Yeah,” Donghun agrees. “Of course.”

“Alright, enough talking,” Donghun's mom says. Donghun snaps his gaze back to the camera in her hand — an actual, digital camera because she claims they take better pictures than the phones. He startles when Yuchan’s hand lands on his knee but tries not to make it too obvious. 

“Tea?” His mom asks after she's satisfied with her pictures. 

“I can help, Mrs. Lee,” Yuchan says, starting to get up. Only a stern look from Donghun’s mom keeps him on the couch. 

“Let her do it,” Donghun says. “It makes her happy.”

Yuchan lets it go and sinks back into Donghun’s side, and in the time it takes for his mom to make the tea, Yuchan’s head grows heavier and heavier on Donghun's shoulder. 

“Are you staying the night?” Donghun’s mom asks when she comes back. Yuchan is snoring lightly, and it makes something fond well up in Donghun’s chest. 

“We weren't planning on it,” Donghun replies. Donghun’s mom looks pointedly at Yuchan, and Donghun laughs softly. “We don't have anything with us.”

“There are plenty of your old clothes here,” his mom says. “And I have new toothbrushes in the bathroom.”

Donghun shakes Yuchan lightly, trying to be gentle. Yuchan wakes up with a snort, and then looks around sheepishly.

“Sorry,” he mutters as both Donghun and his mom laugh lightly.

“It's fine,” Donghun replies. “My mom was just asking if we wanted to stay over.”

“Instead of the train?” 

The hope in Yuchan’s voice settles it for Donghun. 

“I'll get you some pajamas,” Donghun says. 

“Yuchannie can sleep in your room,” Donghun's mom says to him. “You can sleep in your brother’s room.”

Donghun exchanges a sheepish, embarrassed look with Yuchan. They're not really dating, so separating them for that reason is pointless, but it's not like Donghun's mom knows that. But the implication from a mom is mortifying enough that they're still both red-faced. 

“I'll get the pajamas,” Donghun mutters, and flees the living room, leaving Yuchan at his mom’s mercy. 

*

Donghun finishes brushing his teeth, opens the bathroom door, and freezes. 

“What?” Yuchan asks. 

“I…” Donghun stares at Yuchan in his borrowed sweatpants and shirt. It's one of Donghun's college shirts that he thought he’d lost, and he and Yuchan are the same size, but it still looks too big on Yuchan. “The toothbrush!”

He wrenches open a drawer and fumbles around before pulling out a brand new toothbrush to hand to Yuchan. 

“Thanks,” Yuchan says, laughing at Donghun's awkwardness. Donghun would laugh too if he knew _why_ he felt so awkward. 

“I'm just one door down if you get scared in the middle of the night,” Donghun says. 

“Shut the fuck up,” Yuchan laughs, grabbing Donghun by the wrist and yanking him out of the bathroom. Donghun trips, and Yuchan is still cackling about it when he closes the door. 

Donghun lays in his old bed for a long time, unable to fall asleep. He wonders if he had too much to eat for dinner, or if he's just not used to sleeping in this room anymore. The longer he lays there, the more he thinks about Yuchan’s momentary anger at dinner, which turns into thinking about holding Yuchan’s hand and wondering why it felt different than it has before. 

He sits up, punches his pillow a few times and whisper screams, and lies back down. It doesn't help. With a sigh, he flings his blankets off his bed and reaches for his phone. 

**Donghun**  
_You still awake_

**Yuchan**  
_Yeah, it’s so quiet here_

**Donghun**  
_Can I come in?_

**Yuchan**  
_Yas!_

Donghun rolls out of bed and heads for the hallway. His door sounds louder than should be possible when he opens it, and he glances down the hallway at his parents’ closed door. There's no movement, so he scoots next door and opens the door to his brother’s room. 

“Now who’s scared?” Yuchan asks from the bed, face lit up by his phone. 

“Shove over, it’s cold,” Donghun says, lifting the covers and barely waiting for Yuchan to move over before he's sliding in. 

“Why can't you sleep?” Yuchan asks. 

“I don't know,” Donghun says. “Can I ask you something?”

Yuchan looks up from where he's curled around his phone. “Shoot.”

“Why were you so upset earlier?” Donghun asks. “At dinner?”

“Oh, nothing,” Yuchan says. 

“It was something,” Donghun replies. 

“I just,” Yuchan sighs. “I just thought your dad was going to say something bad about us being gay and I wasn't about to let it go.”

“Oh,” Donghun says, not knowing what else to say. 

He remembers, extremely vividly, when he came out to his parents just over a year ago. 

He remembers going straight to Junhee’s apartment after the conversation with his parents, Junhee leaping up from the couch and saying, “You didn’t call! How did it— oh no.”

Remembers collapsing into Junhee’s arms on the couch, crying from a mixture of stress, fear, and pure relief. 

“What did they say?” Junhee had asked. 

“That they need to ‘think about it,’” Donghun said, voice clogged up and disgusting from the crying. “But that they still love me.”

“Of course they still love you,” Junhee said, clutching Donghun close. “You're their baby.”

Donghun sniffed, and stared at the two steaming mugs on the coffee table. 

“When did you make tea?” Donghun asked. “How is it still hot?”

“Channie made it,” Junhee explained. “You remember meeting him, right?”

“Channie…” Donghun repeated, and then sat up in shock and mortification. “Oh fuck! Your new roommate. I forgot.”

“It's okay,” Junhee said, patting Donghun on the shoulder. “He already left to give us some privacy.”

“How embarrassing,” Donghun muttered, curling back into Junhee’s side and accepting a mug from him. He sniffed. “I'm cold.”

Junhee cooed and drew a blanket over him and Donghun felt his heart start to heal. 

“No,” Donghun says now. “They don't say anything like that.”

“Good,” Yuchan says. He falls silent, but it doesn't seem like he's done talking, so Donghun waits him out. 

“Hyung,” Yuchan says. “Can I ask _you_ a question?”

“That's only fair,” Donghun replies. 

“Why was it such a big thing for you to have someone here with you?” Yuchan asks. “If your parents are fine with it and you weren't trying to make them remember you're gay, then why the lie?”

“My mom just really, really wants me to be happy,” Donghun says. “There's nothing more to it. But I guess she thinks me being gay makes it harder? I don't know, but I was tired of talking about it, so here we are.”

“Here we are,” Yuchan repeats. “Hey, don’t fall asleep in here. I don't want your mom getting mad at me.”

“Not falling asleep,” Donghun protests, even though he's fighting to keep his eyes open. He's suddenly exhausted and will have no trouble falling asleep. “Just let me stay here for a little longer.”

He wakes up near dawn to Yuchan poking him in the ribs and urging him to go back to his own bed. Donghun reluctantly pulls himself away from Yuchan and the warm blankets and slips into his own cold bed alone, and doesn't wake up again until he smells breakfast. 

“Dongdong.” His mom bops him on the back of his head. “Close your mouth when you chew.”

“I am,” Donghun replies through a mouthful of rice. He steals another glance at Yuchan, freshly showered and wearing an old, striped turtleneck of Donghun’s. Yuchan notices him staring and makes a face at him. 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” Donghun replies quickly, tearing his gaze away from Yuchan quickly. Then he reaches across the table and silently fixes the fold of the turtleneck for him. His dad clears his throat and rustles his newspaper, and Donghun pulls his hand away quickly. 

“Hyung, you are so weird before you have your coffee,” Yuchan says. 

Donghun sticks his tongue out and goes back to his meal. His mom starts to bustle around and start washing dishes, and before Donghun can get up to help, Yuchan is already leaping up. 

“Let me help, Mrs. Lee!” Yuchan says, pushing up his sleeves. 

“Such a good boy,” Donghun’s mom says. “Oh, those are pretty.”

Donghun looks to see what his mom is complimenting and sees the bracelets on Yuchan’s wrists. He has a lot, but some of them are more colorful than others, and those are the ones his mom points out. 

“Thank you,” Yuchan says. “Donghun-hyung got them for me.”

Donghun blinks, and then remembers yes, he did buy those for Yuchan. He looks down at the matching bracelet on his wrist and smiles, fondness bubbling up in his chest. 

“He has good taste,” Donghun’s mom says. “And not just in jewelry.”

Yuchan flushes a bright red and Donghun complains, “Mom!” 

“What?” She asks indignantly. “I’m just saying!”

They get ready to go to the train station, Donghun’s mom packing an entire bag full of leftovers for them and sandwiching it in between them in the backseat. When they’re standing on the platform, waiting for the train to arrive, Donghun’s dad gives Donghun a hug and Yuchan a firm handshake, but Donghun’s mom pulls them both in for equally tight hugs. 

“Let us know when you get home safe,” she says. “Both of you.”

“Yes, mom,” Donghun replies. 

“And don’t forget to eat the leftovers.”

“Yes, mom.”

“Yuchan-ah, the dishes with the green lids are for you,” Donghun’s mom specifies, gesturing to the bag Yuchan is holding. 

“Oh,” Yuchan says. “Really?”

“Yes,” Donghun’s mom replies. 

Yuchan looks like he’s about to start crying, so Donghun wraps his mom in another hug to give him some time to collect himself. 

“Love you, mom.” Donghun says, hugging her tightly and breathing in her familiar scent. “I’ll come for another visit soon.”

“You better,” she says, sounding close to tears herself. “And make sure you bring Yuchannie.”

“Wow,” Donghun says as he steps back. “You already like him more than me.”

His mom shrugs and then laughs at Donghun’s outraged expression. Yuchan laughs too, and by the time they board the train and wave to his mom, he doesn’t look like he’s going to cry anymore. 

Donghun lets out a loud breath when they get settled in their seats. 

“Are you okay?” Yuchan asks. 

“I should be asking you that,” Donghun says. “You were amazing.”

“Oh, thanks,” Yuchan mumbles. Donghun grins at him. 

“You really were, they really believed it,” Donghun says. “It was so easy.”

“Yeah,” Yuchan replies. “It was.”

“I don’t know what I’ll tell her about New Years,” Donghun says. He elbows Yuchan in the side. “Unless you feel like helping me out again.”

Yuchan laughs, but it sounds off. Donghun stops smiling immediately, knowing he’s said the wrong thing but he doesn’t know why. 

“I’m just kidding,” Donghun says quickly. “You really helped me out, Chan-ah. You don’t have to do it again.”

“Alright,” Yuchan says. He tucks his chin in the neck of his borrowed turtleneck. “Do you mind if I nap? I didn’t sleep much last night.”

“Go ahead,” Donghun says. “I’ll wake you when we get there.”

Yuchan tips his head against the window and closes his eyes, and that’s the last time they speak for the rest of the ride. 

*

Yuchan is still quiet when Donghun wakes him up, and through the transfer to the subway. When Donghun rides past his stop, Yuchan finally says something. 

“Hyung? Aren't you going home?”

“I'm gonna get you home first,” Donghun says. “You're still half asleep, I don't trust you to wake up for your next stop.”

“I…” Yuchan trails off and then looks out the train window, even though it's only dark tunnels. 

“Why are you so sad, Chan-ah?” Donghun asks. Yuchan startles and then meets Donghun’s gaze in the window, finally realizing Donghun can see him. “Are you upset you didn't get to see your family?” 

Yuchan sighs and turns back to Donghun. He studies him, eyebrows drawn together in a frown, and Donghun doesn't know what he's looking for.

Finally Yuchan sighs again and says, “Yeah, that's it.”

He falls quiet again until they get off the train and get to his building. They linger on the doorstep as Donghun shuffles his feet and tries to say something to break the awkward silence. Why is it so _awkward?_

“Some of these are yours,” Yuchan says, trying to hand over the bag of leftovers to Donghun. 

“Just bring the whole thing up,” Donghun says. “You know I’ll be over soon and I’ll eat them then.”

“Okay,” Yuchan replies. “Hey, hyung.”

Donghun freezes and finally looks up at Yuchan. 

“Thanks for the trip,” Yuchan says. “It was really nice.”

“You don't have to thank me,” Donghun says. “I loved having you there.” It's the truth, but Yuchan still looks sad and a little uncertain, so Donghun keeps talking. “I know I was joking about it before all of this, but you really are a good boyfriend, Yuchan-ah. Someone's going to be really, really lucky to have you one day.”

A pang goes through his chest as he says that, as a surprised look flashed over Yuchan’s face. 

“Hyung, I—”

“I have to go,” Donghun interrupts quickly. He darts forward and presses a kiss against Yuchan’s cheek, and then curses at himself as he steps back. _Why did he do that???_ He escapes as fast as he can, and he doesn't look back or slow down until he's rounded the corner. 

He gets down the subway steps, swipes through the turnstile, and stands to wait for his train on autopilot. It doesn't feel right to leave Yuchan on the steps of his building like that, and it doesn't feel right to be ending this whole thing like this.

Donghun's chest hurts, and just as he figures out _why_ and takes out his phone to call Junhee, his phone starts vibrating in his hand. 

“Junnie—”

“What did you _do,_ hyung?” Junhee’s voice is already high pitched, which is bad news for Donghun. 

“What do you mean?” Donghun demands. 

“Channie just got back and he's _crying_ and he shut himself in his room! He won't even let Sehyoon in and he's like, the most chill person when you’re upset, and—”

“He's crying?” There's the noise of scrambling on the other end of the phone. “Why is he crying!”

“We were gonna ask you that, hyung,” Byeongkwan’s voice replaces Junhee’s. “We tried to tell you that this whole trip was a bad idea.” There's a mumbling on the other end. “Sorry. Only Sehyoon-hyung tried to warn you, and you laughed at him.” 

Donghun scowls. He turns away from the platform and pushes back through the crowd of people. He still doesn't know _why_ Yuchan is crying, but he knows he caused it, so now he has to fix it. 

Byeongkwan is still rambling on the other end of the phone, and Donghun misses some of it, but he catches “— and _why_ do you think he volunteered so quickly after you said the Tinder thing, he was _jealous_ you _idiot—”_ and says, “Oh.”

There's silence on the other end, and then Junhee starts to screech, so Donghun hangs up and starts to run. 

He arrives at the bottom of the steps to Junhee and Yuchan’s building just as the front door bursts open. Yuchan is standing there, red-eyed and looking _furious,_ and Donghun gulps. 

“I'm an idiot,” Donghun says.

“You're an idiot,” Yuchan agrees, and then waits. Donghun knows what he needs to say. 

“I should've asked you to date me for real,” Donghun says. “You really are a good boyfriend, but I want you to be _my_ boyfriend. I don't want someone else to realize how lucky they are. I'm the lucky one.” He grimaces. “If you’ll still have me.”

“Of course I will, hyung,” Yuchan says, and then flies down the stairs into Donghun’s waiting arms. The hug is tight and warm, and Donghun’s chest stops hurting. 

“I'm sorry I made you cry,” Donghun mumbles.

“Shut up,” Yuchan says fiercely. “You’re so stupid.” He pulls back and glares at Donghun. “You missed.”

Donghun blinks in confusion. “Missed what?”

“When you kissed me before,” Yuchan says. “You missed.”

He's even taller than Donghun like this, standing on the step above him, and all Donghun can do is helplessly stare up into his cute face as it changes from a glare to a happy, teasing smirk.

“My bad,” Donghun says. “Can I try again?”

Yuchan grins and nods happily, but then doesn't wait for Donghun to make the move, instead leaning down himself and kissing Donghun. 

Donghun smiles into the kiss, and then grabs Yuchan around the waist so he can swing him off the step and onto the sidewalk next to him. Yuchan yelps and breaks away to laugh, and Donghun chases down that sound to kiss him again. 

*

“Honey!” Donghun sing-songs as he lets himself into Junhee and Yuchan’s apartment. “Are you ready?”

“Have I mentioned how much I hate that?” Junhee calls from the kitchen. “Because I hate that.”

Donghun laughs as he kicks off his shoes and makes his way further into the apartment. He leaves on his coat and scarf, because he’s only here to collect Yuchan, and finds Junhee is sitting at the counter eating a bowl of cereal. 

“Merry Christmas, Junnie,” Donghun says, coming up behind him and leaning his entire weight onto Junhee’s back. 

“Merry Christmas, hyung,” Junhee grumbles. When Donghun doesn’t remove his weight, he yells. “Yah! Chan! Come get this guy!”

“One second!” Yuchan yells back. Donghun moves to lean on the counter instead, allowing Junhee to resume eating.

“What are you guys doing today?” 

“Shopping,” Junhee says. “Byeongkwannie still needs to get something for his brother. And then we’re going to a restaurant Sehyoon-hyung found.”

“That sounds fun,” Donghun replies. 

“Where are you guys going?” Junhee asks. “Channie has been begging me for weeks to tell him, and he doesn’t believe I don’t know.”

“Somewhere better than where you guys are going,” Donghun replies cheekily. He laughs and dodges Junhee’s swats, but when he hears Yuchan’s bedroom door open he turns immediately. 

Yuchan steps into the hall and Donghun was already smiling, but it grows when he sees Yuchan. He’s wearing a long, dark coat with a white scarf knotted around his neck, and has a black face mask tucked under his chin. He’s so _cute,_ and Donghun wants to hug him immediately. 

“He’s been getting ready for an hour,” Junhee whispers as Donghun closes the distance to Yuchan. 

“Hyung!” Yuchan cries. “Shut up!”

“You’re cute,” Donghun says, reaching out and cupping Yuchan’s face in his hands. “You’re so cute.” 

“Hi, hyung,” Yuchan replies quietly, and lets Donghun kiss him. They stay like that for a few moments, even as Junhee grumbles at the counter, and then Donghun grabs Yuchan’s hand and tugs him toward the door. 

“Let’s go,” Donghun urges. “I have things planned.”

As they walk down the street hand in hand, Donghun says, “My mom likes you more than me.”

“Oh? Not hard to do, but why do you say that?” Yuchan asks. Donghun elbows him for the cheeky comment. 

“She keeps asking when I’m going to bring you home again,” Donghun says. “I thought she just wanted me to come home again sooner, but then she said, ‘No, you can wait until Yuchannie is free.’ So I guess I’m nothing to her now.”

Yuchan laughs and leans closer to Donghun. “You’re something to me, hyung.”

“Stop flirting with me,” Donghun grumbles. “It’s embarrassing.” 

“But I told her we would be there for New Years, so she can calm down,” he continues. Yuchan makes a surprised noise next to him, so Donghun glances over. “What? Were you going home? You hadn’t said.”

“No, I’m not,” Yuchan says. “I just didn’t know I was invited over.”

Donghun stops walking, and because they’re holding hands, Yuchan comes to a stop too. He looks nervous, and a little embarrassed, and Donghun shakes his head in disbelief. 

“Of course you’re invited,” Donghun says. “I’ve been talking about it with you for weeks!”

“I thought you were just planning out loud!” Yuchan replies hotly. “I didn’t want to assume!” 

“Always assume,” Donghun says, pulling Yuchan in. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily. I’m a very clingy boyfriend.”

“That I know,” Yuchan says, voice muffled as Donghun smothers him a hug. 

“So you’re coming?” Donghun checks, because apparently he should’ve said something earlier.

“Well, I don’t want your mom to be mad at me, so — ah! AH!” 

Yuchan leaps away from Donghun’s pinches and takes off down the street, cackling loudly, and Donghun chases him with a loud laugh of his own.

**Author's Note:**

> Bonus: Donghun's parents give Chan a ticket home as a present and he cries ;-; THEY LOVE HIM OKAY
> 
> I'm on twitter @diamondscoops!


End file.
